Showing posts with label Planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Planning. Show all posts

Monday, June 3, 2013

Planning A Banquet - Helpful Tips For Planning Perfect Banquets For Company Or Private Parties

First time planners are often stricken with complete fear! Even those that plan events over and over again still fear that something will go wrong and they will be the subject of ridicule. Hopefully we can allay the fears and quell the butterflies in your stomach by helping you through the entire project.

There are a lot of questions you need to ask. First timers probably don't have the foggiest idea what questions to ask, so, the first thing we'd better do is outline these for you.

Perhaps the easiest way to do that is to fill out a form. (I love forms!)
If you were to phone me and ask me to help you make arrangements for a special event, the first thing I would do is reach for a blank form, and over the phone we would fill it out. When I had all the information, I would be better prepared to help you.

Before you continue reading, you may want to print the banquet planning worksheet(PDF) from my website. That way you can follow along with the worksheet as I describe the planning process. I've also included a pre filled sample planning worksheet that you might help.

Let's begin with fact finding.

PURPOSE

The first question to ask is, "What is the purpose of the event?" This question should be really easy, but it's perhaps the most important. The purpose of your event will determine your event's agenda.

DATE

Break out your calendar to decide a date for your event. Look for possible conflicts. It might be tough to get people out to a Saturday night banquet if it's a three-day holiday. It would be unwise to put on a church social if your local school, where most of your congregation had children attending, were having an open house or play that night.

Pencil in a date and then try to think of possible conflicts. I know of one organization that booked a very popular and relatively expensive Jewish comic into the club house of a predominantly Jewish retirement community. Attempts to sell tickets failed miserably, because they had not realized they had scheduled his appearance on a Jewish holiday - a very expensive oversight!

BUDGET

There are many, many determining factors in establishing a budget. First of all, how many are expected to attend? You might have a pretty good idea for a company party, but in some cases you might just have to make a "guess-timate" until you can get more information. Make the best possible estimate based on what facts you have, and proceed.

TICKET PRICE

Another factor to determine before we select a location is how much your attendees are willing to pay. Sure, we can work the other way: we can pick a location, hire a band, select the menu, etc., and then add up how much it all costs and thus determine how much everyone needs to pay, but doing so will probably leave you hurting in the end.

If you expect 1,000 people, and you determine .00 a person is acceptable, then your entire budget for food, printing, entertainment, etc., is ,000. If you expect only 20 people and you know they won't come if it's over .00 a person, then you know you're far more limited.

LOCATION

Determine the geographical area where the event is to take place. If you live in the area where the event will take place, you may already know of various hotels, country clubs, restaurants or catering halls that can accommodate your group. If you don't live in the area, be sure to go look at the potential location before you book it. If the event is in a distant city and it's not possible for you to travel there, and the event is a significant one, I suggest you hire a professional meeting planner.

I once attended a banquet in a quaint "50's malt-shop-type restaurant. The party planner had not gone there to look at the room where the party was to be. She had just taken the word of a friend. True, it was a great restaurant, but their "room" had about 5 permanent booths on each wall. Guests were facing in all different directions. This made it almost impossible for the magician they had hired to perform. To further confuse the issue, it was not even a private room. Restaurant customers could not get to the restroom without disturbing the party, and the 50's music continued to blare through the ceiling speakers throughout the evening because it was piped throughout the whole restaurant and could not be isolated from one room. A visit beforehand could have prevented this nightmare.

Many, if not most, facilities do not charge a fee for the use of the room but instead absorb the rental fee into the price of the meal. For instance, in our example of 200 people, a banquet facility would be delighted to supply a private room in order to sell 200 dinners.

Usually they will have several dinners to choose from - perhaps a chicken dinner, complete with beverage, salad and dessert, for .00 per person; or prime rib at .00 each; or sirloin steaks at .00 per person. In our example we are charging .00 per person. Let's select the prime rib at .00.

Does that include tax and tip? Oh, Oh! Find out if it does, or you may get a surprise at the end of the night. Let's say it does not. 15% tip and 8% (or whatever) tax makes the dinner a total of .14 per person. Our sample budget calls for 200 people at .00 each for a total of ,000. If all 200 people attend, dinner will cost ,428. That leaves ,572 for all other costs.

By the way, the facility may ask you for a deposit and guarantee. If you guarantee 200 people, you will have to pay for 200 dinners even if only 175 show up. Generally, a facility is prepared to serve about 10% more people than you guarantee. So it makes sense to guarantee a lesser number than you expect. Even some of those who told you absolutely they would be there, maybe even gave you a deposit, don't show for one reason or another.

Just to be on the safe side, in our example of 200 people, I would guarantee the restaurant 185. If you're pre selling tickets, which I recommend, you can always adjust your estimate upwards with the restaurant a day or two ahead of time if needed. Ask the facility about their requirements in regard to a change in the guarantee.

AGENDA

The evening agenda is largely determined by the event's purpose. A typical event might go like this:

6:00 - 7:00 - Social or cocktail hour

7:00 - 8:00 - Dinner

8:00 - 8:15 - Meeting/Awards/Business

8:15 - 9:00 - Entertainment/Speaker

9:00 - 9:10 - Raffle/Door Prizes

9:10 - 1:00 - Dancing

Having an hour to "gather" is always good. You and the facility both will want everyone present when you actually sit down to eat. It's been my experience that almost everything starts late, so plan for it and don't be disappointed when it happens.

Will you be having a cocktail hour? A "Hosted" bar means that drinks are free to the party-goers. If you choose to host the cocktail hour, be prepared to spend about 00 for our sample group of 200 people. Most organization-sponsored events have a 'No-Host' bar, in which guests buy their own drinks. It's appropriate to announce 'Hosted', or 'No-Host' in the invitation.

Some form of entertainment during the cocktail hour is certainly a plus. The facility may have music piped in through its sound system, which is certainly the most economical; however, for around 0 you could have live music. Most banquet facilities have a piano, sometimes on wheels, and will let you either rent the piano or use it for free. Fee for the piano rental should be around to 0 and a piano player anywhere from 0 to 0.

Other cocktail hour entertainment could include a chamber group, a jazz or "society" trio, harpist, or a strolling accordionist. A strolling "close-up" magician, performing from group to group or table to table, is always fun. Other forms of entertainment for the cocktail hour could include celebrity look-alikes, mechanical or conventional mimes, a balloon animal sculptor, caricaturist, graphologist, palm reader, tarot card reader, stilt walker, or just about anything else you can think of! Again, your budget is your gauge.

DINNER

This is pretty easy. When the Maitre'd says dinner is ready, have your party sit down!

The vast majority of banquets have certain people assigned to sit at the head table while everyone else may sit where they wish. If you choose to have a head table, you should make small place markers for those assigned to sit at the head table, and don't forget to discuss table arrangements with the facility.

OPENING

Someone, perhaps you, should step to the microphone and announce that dinner is ready and ask everyone to take a seat. When this has been accomplished your President, or whoever is presiding, should welcome everyone.

It is appropriate at most banquets to have someone lead the flag salute, followed by a blessing on the food. People should not be called upon for these jobs extemporaneously, but should be asked in advance and their names and responsibilities should be listed on the printed program if there is one. Following the flag salute and prayer, your Master of Ceremonies (or who ever is conducting) should introduce the people sitting at the head table, introducing himself last.

THE PROGRAM

If business of any sort needs to be conducted, begin when dessert is finished, or at least served. Make sure that the facility knows that you do not want any bussing (clearing of tables) or coffee served after the program starts, as it can become an irritating distraction and take away from the enjoyment of the program.

ENTERTAINMENT

Following opening remarks, and/or other business, you could either introduce the main speaker, or present some form of entertainment.

This could be the highlight of the evening! There are many outstanding after-dinner performers and speakers. If you really want to have a successful event, hire a professional. At this writing 0 to ,000 can buy you some pretty top-notch entertainment.

How about a comedian-magician who uses a member or two of your group and does some hilarious bits of business and audience participation magic tricks - 30 or 40 minutes of non-stop laughs!

Or picture this...the dessert has just been served and in walks "Lt. Columbo," complete with overcoat and cigar..."Oh, excuse me," he says, "I was looking for somebody else." All eyes are riveted on this familiar figure as he turns and starts to walk out. "Oh, one more thing, is this the Walker party?' Then for the next 30 minutes or so he does a comedy routine in the style and delivery of Peter Falk as Lt. Columbo, using names of people in your group.

That will rock your people out of their seats with laughter. These are just a couple of suggestions. Everybody loves to laugh, and a good professional entertainer can make you a hero.

How do you find that kind of entertainment? Again, watch out for the well-meaning friend. Sometimes hiring a friend of a friend who tells jokes or plays the banjo can put a wet blanket on the evening if they don't live up to your expectations.

Probably the best way to secure talent is to work with a professional talent agent that specializes in special events. Ordinarily there is no fee for his services. He can make recommendations and suggestions based on what your needs are, and work within your budget limitations.

Some entertainers may have special requirements, like a stage, spotlight, two mics or something else, and these items need to be arranged with the facility. There may be a rental fee involved.

RAFFLE/DOOR PRIZES

Giving away door prizes or raffle prizes should not be held until after the entertainment or main speaker. Perhaps it's an inducement for your guests to stay until the end.

If you're selling raffle tickets, again you need to make out a budget. How many tickets do you expect to sell and for how much money? Do you want to make a profit? Let's say you expect to sell 100 tickets to those 200 people expected to come, and we sell them at the banquet for .00 each. That'll give you 0 to buy prizes with. You can put this in your general budget or assign someone to take care of the whole raffle, including purchasing the prizes and selling the tickets.

DANCING

Following the raffle, the formal portion of the program is really over. Your people can now go home. If you've elected to have a deejay or band, they may stay for dancing.

The facility might charge to set up a dance floor. Sometimes this is a portable dance floor they build right on top of the carpet. A band will cost anywhere from 0 per band member to 0 per band member for four hours. A small trio of keyboard, drum and guitar could be anywhere from 0 to ,500.

An ,800 to ,500 five-piece band, including a vocalist, is average. If you hire a band, you may be able to use one or more of those same musicians to provide cocktail hour and/or dinner music for a small additional fee. You normally need to make a deposit at the time you hire the band. Anything over four hours' playing time is considered overtime, and you should talk with the band or agent about the cost of overtime when you make the initial arrangements. Bands also need to take a 10-15 minute break each hour. Ask if the band will supply recorded music during their breaks.

MOBILE DEEJAY

Sometimes you might prefer a DeeJay playing recorded music instead of hiring a band. This gives you the advantage of hearing the original recording artist instead of a dance band's rendition.

Another advantage is that most mobile DeeJay units will set up before dinner and offer to play dinner music at no additional cost, and of course, a DeeJay does not take a break during the evening, so you have non stop music for your event.

Cost-wise, there is not a lot of difference between a 3-piece band and a DeeJay. Some DeeJays offer a full light-show that few bands do, and even with an additional charge, this could be a real plus. I think it's just a matter of taste. Some people insist on a live band and others are just as adamant about a DeeJay.

PHOTOGRAPHER OR VIDEOGRAPHER

Video taping an event, except for historical purposes, is unnecessary. Seldom will the video tape or DVD be watched more than once after the event. Yes, maybe a Bar or Bat Mitzvah will watch his or her recording years later when they grow older, and maybe even a bride and groom would watch a well-edited and condensed recording. A company or organization's banquet, however, will be seldom if ever watched.

I would recommend that you hire, budget permitting, a professional photographer rather than leaving it up to one of your guests or a friend of a friend who only takes photos twice a year. You can have the photographer deliver prints or a CD of digital photographs in which case you could print just the photos you want.

PROMOTION

Probably the most traumatic thing that could occur is that you planned the entire event and then no one came. If it's a company party and the food, entertainment, drinks and dancing are all free, I don't think you will have a problem, as long as you let everybody know when and where and that it's FREE!

But if that's not the situation, you may need to promote the event. Once you have all the facts (WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, WHO, and HOW MUCH), you can create a flyer - a piece of paper with all the facts on it, designed to motivate people to attend.

If you're an artist, great! You can create the flyer yourself. If not, maybe someone in your group is and they can help you. Otherwise, you need to "rough it out" the way you'd want it and take it to a graphic artist to do the "camera-ready copy" for you, then off to a printer to print however many you're going to need. How many you need will depend on how you're going to distribute them.

The layout, printing, envelopes and postage all need to go into your budget. There are, of course, additional ways you can promote the event - word of mouth, bulletin boards, phone committee, club or company newsletter, posters. If your event will be open to people outside your organization, you might try using the publicity channels of other related groups, companies, schools, etc., as well as your own. Have a "brainstorming session" with your committee, if you have one, to think of all the ways you can get the word out.

And remember that if you want people to come to your activity, you can't just tell them. You have to tell them and tell them and tell them! Use all the resources at your disposal, and don't hesitate to repeat yourself. The more times you tell them, the more will come!

TICKET SALES

There are as many ways to handle this as there are ways to promote the event. If you have to lay out funds ahead of time (which is usually the case), it is good to get as much money as you can up front. Pre selling your tickets will help you do that. Of course, your publicity must state your requirements and deadlines. This also will help you get a handle on how many are going to attend. Remember though, that there will still be some last minute cancellations and additions, so stay flexible.

TABLE ASSIGNMENTS

As mentioned earlier, most organizations assign only the head table, and the rest of the attendees are left to sit where they wish. Some groups insist on drawing pictures of the tables on a sheet of paper, numbering them, and then assigning people to specific tables.

I think it's far more work than necessary, but if you must, then have at it.
Some banquets, especially those honoring individuals or groups, offer entire tables "for sale." 10 people per table at each means that for 0 someone could reserve a whole table. Make sure you put a "reserved" sign on that table, showing the name of the host.

THE PRINTED PROGRAM

When all the facts are in, if the budget will permit, a nice printed program could be put at each place setting or handed out as people arrive. It should contain the agenda for the evening and credits given to all those who contributed to the event.

Many organizations have been successful in selling ads in the program to defray the cost of printing or even to raise some extra money. I've put 0 income under the income column of our example. Don't you think you could convince 10 people to give you their business card and pay to be advertised on the back page of the program? Of course, this idea could be a little tacky if the event is to celebrate little Bobbie's 10th birthday. Use your best judgment.

DECORATIONS

This could be a big item or not - strictly up to you. If you picked a beautiful location, and it's not a special seasonal event like a Christmas or Halloween party, why not just enjoy the facility's decor? If you feel you need decorations and you have a sufficient budget, call a party decorator who uses balloons. They go a long way towards dressing up a room without spending a lot of money.

Centerpieces on each table look nice. You can ask someone to donate these or have someone clever make something for each table. Many facilities make such a nice table layout that a centerpiece is not necessary. Don't spend money unnecessarily, but do remember that the nicer the ambience, the better the memories or the event will be in the minds of those who attend, which means that they will want to come to your next event, too!

One note of caution. If you're having entertainment, be careful that large
centerpieces, particularly balloons, don't block the view of the performing area or even the people sitting on the opposite side of the table who want to see and talk to each other.

YOU DID IT!

Yes, you will fret and worry until the whole thing is over, but every party planner does. Just relax, do your best and enjoy! (Here's a secret: If you enjoy what you're doing, the people you are doing it for will enjoy it, too!)

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Planning a marriage Reception

The type of your reception should be compatible with the ceremony style. There are three general types of receptions; however there are many ways to go about planning a wedding reception:

- A tea or stand-up buffet, for an early - or late-afternoon wedding, usually consists of hors d oeuvres, wedding cake, and beverages, and allows approximately eight pieces of finger food in the per-person cost.

- A sit-down buffet, for a morning, noon, or evening wedding, allows guests to serve themselves and then be seated at tables.

- A sit-down dinner, for a wedding held after 6pm, offers a four or five course meal that is served to seated guests.

The basic requirements for a reception are the wedding cake and a beverage for toasting the bridal couple. Champagne is traditionally served at formal receptions, but the serving of alcoholic beverages of any kind is a matter of choice. The reception is likely to consume the largest portion of your wedding budget. Also, you should appoint someone reliable to oversee the reception, coordinate last-minute details, and direct cleanup. To help with these responsibilities, a reception organizer, reception seating chart, reception receiving line, reception room diagrams, and worksheet for the table layout may be filled out and given to the reception coordinator.

How to Choose a Reception Site

You will need to coordinate available dates and times with both the ceremony and reception sites before confirmation can be made. How to choose a reception site is largely determined by the size of your guest list. It is important to have a room that is neither too large nor too small. Your guests may feel lost in a room too large. To make the room appear smaller, you can partition off an area using potted plants, roping, or moveable room dividers. If a room is too small, it may become cramped and uncomfortable. When weather and location permit, the reception could spill over into a garden or patio to increase the size of the area.

Allow approximately three hours for your reception. The length will depend upon the style of the reception, the location you have chosen, and the number of guests to be served.

Most hotels and caterers, who may be involved with more than one reception on any given day, prefer that you select a time for your reception that stays within a single conventional time period (morning, noon, afternoon, or evening). If your reception extends into a second time period - such as from afternoon into evening - you may find difficulty in reserving a room, or an increase in cost for the use of the room and services.

When you have a choice of using all or some of the services offered with a possible reception site (perhaps in a "packaged deal"), consider every detail before deciding. Packages may include (a) room, food, and service; or (b) room, food, service, cake, and decorations.

Most banquet facilities and halls require that you use their food and beverage services. Hotels sometimes offer extras with their packages, suck as discounted room prices for out-of-town guests, and special wedding night rates for the bride and groom. When reserving a reception room months in advance of your wedding, ask for a guaranteed price and get it in writing.

Make certain that any contract you sign includes only those services you desire, including a cancellation policy whereby you get most of your money back should you cancel (particularly if the location is rebooked by another group). Some locations will allow you to reserve a room for a time before signing a contract; however, a deposit is required at signing - usually 10 percent of the total estimated cost.

How to Choose a Wedding Caterer

If you are trying to figure out how to choose a wedding caterer, the time and date of your wedding must be confirmed with them and also with the ceremony and reception sites before you order any invitations. When looking for a caterer, ask your family and friends for recommendations. Also, ask any unknown caterers for references, and samples of their food, if possible.

By informing an experienced caterer of the amount you have budgeted for the event, the facilities to be used, and the number of invited people, he can quickly tell you what can be served, in what amount, and in what style.

If the caterer is not familiar with the reception site you have selected, have him visit it to determine what is available and what is needed to make it functional for preparing and serving the food. Determine who is responsible for renting any needed extras - kitchen and serving equipment, tables, chairs, linens, table settings etc. Most caterers break down the cost into a per-person charge.

Ask if the quoted price also included the tax and gratuity. You may want to ask who gets the leftover food (since you will have already paid for it). Ask how many people the caterer will provide for serving the food.

- a buffet table requires a serve for every main dish.

- a sit-down dinner requires a server for every ten guests.

- beverages require a server for every fifty guests.

Sometimes, even if you provided the cake, the beverages, and their respective serves, there is a service charge added by the caterer or reception site, especially when they offer the same service. This charge can be extra or hidden in the total per-person charge. When you sign a contract, be certain it specifies exactly what is to be served, the number of people serving it, the per-person cost, the payment schedule, and a release clause should you have to cancel.

How to Order a Wedding Cake

While seeking estimates for the wedding cake from the banquet manager, caterer, or bakery, taste samples to determine the quality of the cake they offer. So you are probably wondering how to order a wedding cake. You will need an estimate of the number of guests you are expecting when you order your cake. Most prices are based on a per-serving cost. A down payment is usually required when ordering.

The number of needed servings determines both the size and shape of the cake - the number of servings per layer size. Do not hesitate to inquire if, with their guidance, you can design your own cake. It is better to have the bakery deliver the cake to the reception site. They can then make any necessary repairs to the icing.

Do not be afraid to ask friends to cut and serve the cake, even if they have never done it before. It is not difficult when given proper instructions. To preserve the top layer of your cake, wrap it first in plastic wrap, then in two layers of aluminum foil before sealing with freezer tape. If you order more cake than you actually need, you may donate any uncut portions to nursing homes, charitable dining rooms, and others.

How to Setup a Wedding Cake

The wedding cake may be used as a centerpiece on the brides table on the buffet table, or it may be placed on its own table. When deciding on the best location, consider serving accessibility as well as how to best highlight the cake. Knowing the design of your cake - round, square, banquet, or heart shaped, consider what table would best enhance its appearance.

Cover the table with long cloths. Skirting may be necessary to cover the table to the floor. Trim the table and base of the cake with flowers, greenery, garlands, or bows. The bridesmaid's bouquets may also be places on the table as part of the decorations. I hope that helps give you an idea of how to setup a wedding cake.

The Bridal Party Arrival at a Wedding Reception

Select someone other than a family member to serve as the unofficial reception host/hostess until the arrival of the bride's parents or other official hosts of the reception. Sometimes the bridal party can be detained due to completion of the photographs at the ceremony site. For this reason, you may want to provide hors d oeuvres and beverages for your guests preceding a buffet or sit-down dinner.

Who will be the spokesperson for your bridal party arrival at a wedding reception? The emcee, DJ, or bandleader can announce the arrival of the bridal party. You will want to provide the emcee with a list of names of those to be introduced. The list should be in order of their appearance. Include the phonetic pronunciation of each persons name as well as his or her relationship to you or the groom. Following is a suggested order of appearance:

Bride's parents

Groom's parents

Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman

Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman

Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman

Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman

Bridesmaid and usher/groomsman

Maid/Marton of Honor and the best man

Guest of Honor the Bride and Groom

Receiving Line at a Wedding Reception

Form the receiving line at a wedding reception based on the best traffic flow for the groom. The receiving line is for the bridal couple and their parents to greet guests and receive their congratulations. It should not disband until each guest in the line has been greeted. If you choose not to have a receiving line, you may circulate among the guests for the same purpose, greeting each one.

Though sometimes held at the ceremony site, a receiving line is traditionally formed at the reception. You may greet any late arrivals as you mingle with your guests. To lessen the amount of time spent receiving guests, include only the bridal couple, parents, and honor attendants in the receiving line. Participants traditionally stand in this order: the bride's mother, the groom's mother, the bride, the groom, the maid of honor, and the bridesmaids (in order, with the bridesmaid who led the processional at the end of the line).

If the fathers are included in the line, the grooms father stands next to the brides mother and the brides father stands between the bride and the grooms mother, (if the brides father participates in the line, the best man assumes the role of reception host until the brides father is free).

Take into consideration your family situation when deciding who will participate in the receiving line and where they will stand, particularly if your parents are divorced.

Guest Book at a Wedding Reception

Locate the guest book at a wedding reception near the entrance or at the end of the receiving line. The book can be circulated among the guests to be sure everyone has signed it. The person (or persons) who tended the book at the ceremony site could also tend it at the reception (or others could be designated).

Seating Arrangements at a Wedding Reception

- Tea or stand-up buffet:

You may have a brides table and two or three other tables designated for the bridal party, parents, grandparents, and other family members. It is better to have only half as many chairs as guests, to allow room for people to move about. A few tables should be placed about the room to receive the empty plates, cups, and forks.

- Sit-down buffet or dinner:

The brides table generally includes the brides and grooms attendants, other than children, sitting in alternating positions on either side of the bridal couple:

Usher/Bridesmaid/Usher/Bridesmaid/Best man/BRIDE/GROOM/Maid of Honor/Usher/Bridesmaid/Usher/Bridesmaid

Bridesmaids and ushers may be seated at specially designated tables other than the brides table. The parents can have both sets of parents seated with the officiant and his or her spouse. You could also have separate tables for the brides and grooms parents. Other honored guests can be seated with the parents with this arrangement:

-----------------------Brides Mother

Grooms Father---------------------Wedding Officiant

Grandparent,Friend---------------Grandparent,Friend

Officiants Wife----------------------Grooms Mother

-----------------------Brides Father

When the bride's parents are divorced, the groom's parents sit with the parent who raised the bride. The other parent sits with his or her family and friends at a separate table. If there are children in the wedding party, they may either be seated with their parents or at a special children's table under adult supervision.

If you are planning to have assigned seating arrangements at a wedding reception, use a reception seating chart to help you plan. If you are using unassigned seating, you may want to use the following method to help avoid confusion or traffic blocks among the guests: 1.) conspicuously but tastefully display a number card on each table 2.) write each guests name and assigned table number on a name/seating card: 3.) place the cards on a hostess table near the entrance to the reception area so that guests can find their seats easily.

Cutting the Cake at a Wedding Reception

At a tea or stand-up buffet where the wedding cake is the main part of the menu, you may cut the cake before the receiving line forms. At a sit-down buffet you could hold the cake-cutting ceremony once all your guests have gone through the receiving line.

At a full-course sit-down dinner, the cutting and sharing of the cake by the bridal couple comes just prior to the dessert course. Whenever you decide to cut your wedding cake, consider how the timing affects your guests - too long a wait often results in a great deal of leftover wedding cake. You and your groom are the first people cutting the cake at a wedding reception. The groom places his right hand over yours on the knife handle as you together take a slice of wedding cake from the bottom tier. The groom gives you the first bite, and you offer the groom the second.

After sharing your first piece of wedding cake, you and the groom may serve your respective new in-laws. Afterward, those serving the cake will serve the bridal attendants and remaining guests. It is nice to decorate the handle of the cake knife with flowers, bows, or streamers. In a military wedding, the bride and groom use his sword/saber to cut the first slice of cake.

Entertainment at a Wedding Reception

The following are a few of the more common traditions expected from the entertainment at a wedding reception:

- Toasting the bridal couple: This usually begins right after the receiving line is completed, and before the food is served at a formal reception. It is traditionally led by the best man. Following a military wedding, the first toast usually welcomes the bride into the service. The arch may again be formed over her head during the toast.

- First Dance: The bride and groom traditionally dance first, followed by these pairings:

(a) bride and her father, groom and his mother

(b) bride and the best man, groom and the maid of honor

(c) bride and grooms father, groom and brides mother

(d) everyone joins in

It is not necessary for the bridal couple to dance the entire number before the father of the bride cuts in, or everyone is asked to join in. When family relationships have been disrupted through divorce, the bride and groom may share their first dance together and then open the floor for everyone else.

At large formal affairs, dancing may begin at any time, even as early as the first arrival of guests to the reception. When dancing has begun early, a fanfare may be plated to clear the floor and signal the bridal couple's first dance. The first dance may occur immediately following the toasts.

- Throwing the bouquet and garter: These popular customs come near the end of the reception just before the bride and groom change into their going away clothes. The bride first tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the waiting unmarried women, followed by the grooms removing the satin and lace garter from the bride's leg and then tossing it to the waiting single men. Florists will make up a special bouquet for throwing if you want to save your own. (These customs are generally not observed at a second wedding.)

- Throwing the rice: Designate younger sisters, cousins, or friends to distribute confetti, balloons, bubbles, or sparklers to guests. Check with the ceremony/reception site on their policy regarding this tradition. Rice is not recommended due to adverse affects on animals and their eating habits.

Other forms of entertainment to consider:

The best many or emcee could read congratulatory messages received during the day. Slides or a video montage of your individual childhoods and romance could be shown. Solos, poetry, and special reading written just for you are some of the ways your loved ones could share in your day. "Your song" could be sung or played by a group of friends, college pals, coworkers etc. Speeches could be given by your families or close friends, offering their best wishes and perhaps sharing a few anecdotes from your past. Each should be kept to a minimum of time, no more than one or two minutes.

Other local and ethnic customs may be observed; the following are a few examples

The dollar dance: guests pay a dollar each to dance with the bride or groom. They may pin the money to the brides gown or put money or checks into a small white satin purse the bride wears on her wrist.

The grand march: near the end of the reception, the emcee announces the grand march. The bride and groom lead the way, followed by their attendants and guests. As the music is plated, the bridal couple leads the crowd around the room and sometimes even outside and around the building. At the end, everyone passes by the bridal couple so they can thank each guest for helping them celebrate their wedding day.

After the Wedding Reception

After the wedding reception, there is still work to be done - plan for it! The amount of work will largely depend on where the reception is held. There will be far less to do when the reception is held at a hotel than in a church, a hall, or at a home. No matter how much or how little needs to be done, assign people to assist with each cleanup detail. Have plenty of help!

Home and/or Garden Reception

In addition to much of the preceding information, you must also consider the following when planning a reception at home. Although truly memorable, a home or garden reception is not necessarily less expensive than one held elsewhere, and may entail a great deal more work.

In preparing for the vent, you may find yourself involved in special cleaning, painting, and landscaping projects. Therefore, it may be expedient to hire outside professional services to ease the workload. If you are not having a caterer, setup a work schedule to plan and prepare the food in advance.

Serve beverages in 4 or 6 ounce glasses. Provide two glasses of beverage per person per hour; this amount may be higher in hotter climates. Particularly with an at-home reception, you will need to study your kitchen and:

- list any equipment needed to facilitate the preparation and serving of the food and beverages.

- check to see if you have adequate electrical outlets.

- check to see if the electrical appliances are in good working condition. Do not be caught at the last minute with a fifty cup-coffee maker that does not work.

Study the general flow of the house and garden as you plan the location of food and beverage tables, the bride's attendants, and parent's tables, and seating for the guests. It may be necessary to remove some of the furniture from your home to allow more room for your guests.

To avoid any last- minute frustration over where to place a dish on a serving table, prepare a layout of each table showing what dish goes where. Then, prior to the reception, place a slip of paper with the name of the dish at each location. At a home or garden reception, you will need additional people assisting you with details:

- a crew to set up the area - tables, chairs, etc.

- extra people to assist in the kitchen

- someone to pickup after the family when they leave for the wedding and before they return for the reception (if the wedding is also being held at home, they could assist in straightening the house just prior to the wedding.)

- someone to stand at each door or entrance to the house and garden to welcome guests and direct them to the reception area.

- someone very reliable - perhaps a close personal friend - to supervise the buffet table and keep it well stocked

- someone to assist with serving - passing trays of hors d oeuvres, beverages, etc.

- ushers to remove empty plates and cups when guests have finished

- someone to keep powder rooms clean and stocked

- a crew to clean up the entire area and to remove all litter after the reception

Plan well in advance where to park your guest's cars. It may be necessary to have them park elsewhere and to provide a shuttle service to your home. Parking attendants at your home may be needed. You may also want to consider hiring an off-duty police officer to direct traffic.

You may need to consider an alternate location in case of undesirable weather (or be prepared with canopies, tents, fans, or heaters). Consider enclosing the following information with your invitations, giving an alternative location:

In case of rain the _______event type_______

will be held at _______location_______

contact_____name of person_______ at ____phone number____

Post Wedding Reception Parties

When all the planning of the past few months has come to fruition, the wedding and reception are over, and the bride and groom have left for their honeymoon - now what? If the festivities occurred early in the day, the bride's parents might consider inviting family members, the grooms parents, and special friends to join them in an informal gathering at home. Continuing the celebration in an intimate home atmosphere, rather than having it come to an abrupt end at the close of the reception, will help the parents to better adjust to the change of pace after the furious activity of the past few months.

Post wedding reception parties and activities could extend over the next several days with swimming and boating trips, picnics, and trips to museums, plays, sporting events, etc.